Sunday, January 18, 2009

OVERRATED DOWN UNDER

I went to see the movie AUSTRALIA, heralded as the most glamorous tourism exposure for Australia (the country) but it wasn't, really. It's simply a long, sappy and terrible film with great costumes and some comedy relief. I highly recommend it at this time since there is nothing else to see except that idiotic Marley and Me (I read the book and was not amused) and that unaspirational Brad Pitt movie and yet another unaspirational film with Kate Winslet and Leo di Caprio called Revolutionary Road. You just KNOW these people who have everything need to 'do what they love and find themselves' and someone will end up dead, wounded, crazy or sobbing excessively in some mosquito-infested country all because they had to 'follow their dream....'
Now you know why Chinese and Bollywood films are gaining popularity......


So this movie--OZ---could have been a slideshow of the beauty of OZ but NHHOO---it was a slideshow of the beauty of Nicole (she is, anyway) and Hugh Jackman who I would not recognize even if I saw him at Giordano. She is SO SLIM in this film--is she wearing a girdle?? I know Dr Cutty in House, does. Very obvious.
On the Oz scenery--everything is brown and terracotta. And dusty. The same as Scotland or Ireleand where everything is green and grey. And wet.
If I were the studio, I would have finished the movie at aboriginal mestizo Noah's voice over..."And that was the first time I ever heard of Christmas..." (pan around the farm, wide angle and cut to finish!) because the costumes go downhill after that and you have already seen the best part of the film, the bull stampede. (Who cares about the story because it's already bad) The next costume change is into Banana Republic 1982 but unlaundered for months.
.....THEN you will also shorten the movie by one hour and cut your budget considerably. But NNHHOO...one had to continue for 'the human drama"--not that there wasn't enough--- (if you want a dog drama, see my previous posts) and also I think the Oz aborigines will complain because then the kid doesn't get to 'stay in the picture' and you can't use the line at the end, "I must discover my country. YOUR country....' ekekeke chuvalu....blah bla roll credits....
And at the end, you feel so dusty that you just want to go home and have a bath.

NOW THIS SLASHER FILM!!! The scariest I've ever seen in my life!! Scarier than The Others, Blair Witch and that Spanish one in the orphanage. THIS SHOULD win the OZ tourism award because it really shows Oz as God's country. In fact, not God's country but God's creative laboratory---the colors, the shapes, textures, the panorama....Un-be-fuckin-believeable. Unlike anything in the world!
But if you ever finish watching this film, you wouldn't want to visit Oz again because it makes their people look like a bunch of mad hick murderers.
But I go there all the time and I LABS EET!! It's like LA but clean with no poor people. And the guys look like MEN (even if they are gay).

PS Speaking of poufs, http://www.donavictorina.blogspot.com/ thinks TIM YAP might be going to jail. What great news! And what great pictures we will have of him with coloured hair in a line-up photo with ID number (6666969??) and what--Paul Smith stripes as background?? And it seems like the furry cuffs I put on Alicia Santos Daniels in my book is now going to be on Yoyo Tan. My, my....how truth is tons more exciting than fiction!! I could NEVAH imagine that!
Speaking of ASD, Anton san Diego is opening some kind of establishment called you guessed it, The Establishment, next to...you guessed it. Embassy!
Perhaps the Taguig government better just raze that whole block and build a multi-use complex since one establishment is already involved in multi use.....of drugs. Ay complex pala...Ay multi drug use...Ay, it's complicated....

8 comments:

Cha said...

We love u Kitty!

I should see the horror movie. i hope its scarier than the Japanese ones.
this is why i never go clubbing in MNL because of the drugs. It's really dangerous. Here in London, it is pretty much safe.

Leeklik said...

revolutionary road is a good movie, good but not great or best. c'mon, if it weren't for Kate & Leo, this thing would REALLY be excruciating to watch. i watched it with trepidation that it might be one of those life-is-unfair-i-have-to-do-something-with-my-sorry-existence drama. rev road is actually well acted or i would have poke my eyes with needles for boredom.

Rexler said...

Respectfully,

After five postings about your beloved dogs (who you dress up and throw parties for), you say that you were not "amused" by the book Marley and Me, furthering that the movie is "idiotic".

Am I just stupid, or am I missing something here?

Just seeking enlightenment.

Thank you.

Riz Dela Plana said...

"It's like LA but clean with no poor people. And the guys look like MEN (even if they are gay)."

Touche! I live here now and absolutely agree with this 100%, especially the last sentence. Oh, and I didn't watch the movie cos I heard nothing good about it, sayang lang ang 15 dollars ko.

reyna elena said...

Hak hak hak! I love you! ay sori. I adore you pala! Andito ka sa altar ko. hehehe!

Chinachix said...

still on Bollywood films, have you seen Slumdog Millionaire? I thought it was brilliant.

PS I actually Revolutionary Road interesting. As a previous commenter observed, its good, but not great.

Oriellini said...

Slumdog Millionaire is a great film...i would also recommend "I've loved you so long"with kristin scott thomas and mickey rourke's career resurrection in THE WRESTLER.also check out RACHEL GETTING MARRIED AND HAPPY GO LUCKY(SALLY Hawkins winning performance).nICOLE kIDMAN is so perfect in Australia that she upstage the whole movie...the costumes are fabulous and SHE nailed everything!!!

Rexler said...

Once more, with feeling:

Respectfully,

After five postings about your beloved dogs (who you dress up and throw parties for), you say that you were not "amused" by the book Marley and Me, furthering that the movie is "idiotic".

Am I just stupid, or am I missing something here?

Just seeking enlightenment.

Thank you.