Monday, July 28, 2008

The Good and the Blood of video



This is my first posting using YouTube so if you don't see it here, I guess you'll never see it here again!! (GAWD KNOWS!!)

I received this vid and although I don't know the subjects or the subject, I have to comment on it:

The fashion editor in me says that we seem to be going for the 'Ritz Carlton Honeymoon Special' or 'American Beauty somewhere not in America'....

BUT the Brett Ratner in me says...

This looks like a fuckin' crime scene....
The panning over the floor with all that red looks like a homicide team's eye movements, the tight framing of photos give the impression that McNulty is at your house because yo' boy ain't seen in his corner...PLUS there is no music, only the white noise which makes me think--THE KILLER Is BEHIND YOU!!!!

(I swear at first I thought I got sent a clip of CSI/The Wire)

Sunday, July 27, 2008

NEWS FROM SINGAPORE

My Singapore Squealers just revealed that YOYO TAN and the MABUHAY RUNNER.....have crossed the line and it ain't the finish line, homies.

Remember when they joined a run in Singapore that came out in a blog?
The event was part of a program sponsored by the Singapore government.
Little did we know they were not running to lead the style pack but running for THEIR LIVES!!!

The Singapore Squealers tell me that both Yoyo and his Yaya have been blacklisted from events (read: junkettes) held by the Singapore Tourist Board.

Looks like the mega-powerful server of the government alerted them to the fact that both DID NOT DELIVER the stories they promised.

Well, I think it ain't SO bad because at least they did not just STAND and NOT DELIVER but they RAN and DID NOT DELIVER.

I am not against junkettes because the regional media do it. But what I am against is going on a junkette and NOT writing about it or going on one and having SOMEONE ELSE write it...

Maybe that's why they have to run faster now.....

The McDo deal of Yoyo Tan is also probably closed to cooked on a grill.

Anong order niyo?
Yan lang pow.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Look at the electrocuted Catwoman-looking Frenchwoman wondering why I am wearing such a big hat in the shade---so I don't end up looking like a battered Birkin like Bridget Bardot.


WHY DO I SUPPORT GORRELL?
Let me count the ways......
But first, let me tell you followers of fashion that I support a person or a cause the same way I support a fashion label----early and unfailingly...Well, until I see it on enough of the WRONG PEOPLE and at Duty Free, on Mariah Carey/Pinoy celebrity or every mall in the world...I can't bring myself to wear my leopard Giuseppe Zanottis since seeing it in Yes! --(Imitation of ) Christ Almighty!!!
As readers of my books will know, there are two types of people in this world: us and them. And within the two groups there are two more types: leaders and followers. (Well, them-s are nothing but social climbers anyway so I would classify them all as followers)
I would like to think of myself as a leader but unfortunately until now, my many followers have had to read my books in the bathroom or basement for fear of being seen by 'a friend of a friend of a big person', Corina Caballero, Alicia Santos-Daniels or all of the above and then some.
Hopefully not this time!
Before starting this blog, I was probably the only person ABS-CBN could find who openly backed Gorrell's blog even if we have never met in person. It also helped that they were in HK covering the boring presidential visit and needed comedy relief.
I feel the same way now as I did at the start--- and even when people were telling me 'Gorrell's blog is dead,' 'No one is reading it,' ' He has no proof' ---that blog is HIS and HE CAN TAKE IT IN ANY DIRECTION.
It can turn bisexual for all I care!
If I am proven wrong later, so what? It's not like I didn't endure 3 years of society criticism and cowardice....what's another three?
And if you are in it in anyway good, bad or ugly, talagang 'sorry nalang' ....
Don't want anything written about you? STAY HOME!
Girls and Gheys--didn't you notice how WELL BEHAVED and POLITE people have been since Gorrell and Chikatime went online???
It's like a police state without the cameras!
Now if only retail and restaurant services improved.
Regardless of what would have happened, I agree with everything in Gorrell's blog except for one thing (see below):
1) I like the spirit of a victim who takes matters into his own hands whether by blackmail (as many have accused Gorrell of) or whistleblowing (the term I would like to use) because these days NO ONE WILL HELP YOU but YOURSELF!
certainly NOT the cops as Gorrell has so terrifyingly illustrated
2) Whether it is 70 pesos, 70,000 USD or 70 million pesos, being swindled is painful and whoever did that DESERVES comeuppance....If no one will help you (and usually not even your dog will care), see step 1.
3) What is 'a lot of money' is a subjective term that should be analyzed only by the World Bank and other large insitutions....(But look where it got us--oil at 150 USD(?) a barrel, gold at 900 USD (??) an ounce, real estate prices and stocks falling, consumer insolevency, etc)
My point is, regardless of the amount, life savings is life savings. It is NOT discretionary income like many critics would say 'ay--70,000 USD lang' or 'what's 3 million pesos?'
WHAT IS IT NGA???
To people who do not value a hard day's work, probably nothing. But to the rest of civilization, whether it is minimum wage or 100,000 USD a day, a day's work is in the same league of preciousness as a day of life....
(Well, there are people like me who think of killing themselves for one reason or another ---very likely over having nothing to wear---but that's another story)
4) What happened to Brian has very likely happened to someone you know or even to YOU!
OR MORE LIKELY, it could have been a close call for you....
unless of course you are someone who never makes mistakes because....you have NO MONEY to INVEST! hahaha!!!!
The 'almost' that could move you from comfortable to crippled with the blink of an eye, the flash of a Bloomberg reading, the press of a send button....The 'almost' that could have happened because of greed (remember the Singaporean pyramid scam??), poor judgement (remember the Singaporean pyramid scam?), the balance sheet that looked good until you DID NOT SEE the managing director (remember the singaporean pyramid scam?), the property values that were skyrocketing until....
It is the realization of how close anyone can be to the 'almost' that terrifies me most.
I guess the last few days here in Europe have shown me the 'almosts' that could have happened in a place aptly called 'Old Europe'--there is REALLY no ACTION in the old EU and US compared to Asia.
Like I always say, soon we will be charging entrance for people to look at our chalet because the entire Old Europe will become a museum unless they let the Russians in.
5) And finally, I support the blog because I CAN in the same way the blog is still alive because Brian can keep it that way.
For me, it is a privelege to be able to take sides and voice my opinion.
I am fully aware and understand that many do not have that luxury because of their jobs, who they work for or where they live such as places where there are archaic internet libel laws as in the Philippines where rubber stamping, 'carbon' copying and Lacoste have not gone out of fashion.
Oh yes--what I don't agree with...I think the Yoyo Tan vs people of HSBC is not an altogether altruistic action by YT for the cause of pouf-fery.
Rather---I THINK (and this is my own opinion) he was more likely OFFENDED/ashamed/insulted to be KNOWN as bakla than to be CALLED one .
GEDDIT?? Please say you do because I have to get on with book 3!!!
But comments good, bad and ugly are welcome.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

YOYO Is NOT g-a-y?????


DID IT EVAH! OCCUR TO YOUS THAT YOYO TAN COULD NOT BE gay????
Even without being seen with boys???
1) coloured hair that changes like a light show and inspired a now-shut Chinese restaurant also owned by social mountaineers who also own an ice cream shop that sell expired and expensive ice cream
2) clothes that would be welcome on the Oscars red carpet...for the costumes of Priscilla Queen of the Desert
3) the incredible ability to know his 'good angle' for the papps--right now the only angle he's gonna need is a story out of this happy (because I can't say gay) mess
Ah but of course...perhaps he is just like Dame Edna who is straight and Oz-trailian
AY OO NGA PALA----I forgot...clean alpine air must be affecting my brain....
Magbabati lang ako sa Social Sheriff....
MABUHAY KA SOCIAL SHERIFF...have you shopped (the social interlopers) till you dropped????
THE ANSWER TO AN EXPLOSIVE QUESTION LIES IN ONE OF THE STATEMENTS ABOVE....abangan......

WHISTLE WHILE YOU WORK



This week, aside from my many duties of cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping and driving, I am watching the UK TV series 'The Whistleblowers.' Non Non NO NHO NYET!! THis is not the TV show about Gorrell and me (but we are waiting for Brain Grazer and Ed Burns to call...hahaha!)
'The Whistleblower' is a co-production by--- I-forgot--maybe Caravan Entertainment--with BBC America. It's a great series about two lawyers who quit their jobs to work as whistleblowers. The male lead seems to be a Dominic West (of 'The Wire) 'the younger'--same look, same hair, same dress sense (well, a little better). The Eurasian girl he stars with is probably the best dressed sleuth since Charlie's Angels----and she has great hair!!! She's as dark and brooding as they are bubbly.
Lots of sleuthing and 'research' (legal and otherwise), tons of consipiracy theories and even more chances for you to question your school, your government, your hospitals, your life...
But THEN when you watch this on TV you will realize---HEY! That's VERY NORMAL.
THERE is absolutely no question about it.
It happens....in the Philippines.
Corrupt immigration officers, torture in the name of security, kidnapping, bribery, schools that don't care about kids, gazillions of people who have to compromise...
As Tom Jones sang 'It's not unusual...'
Speaking of whistleblowers, is the OTHER more daring whistleblower Social Sherrif Gorrell, on a fag-blog roll or what?
Everyone must be scared shitless...writing to him pleading to be kept out of the blog, asking their friends to talk to him, asking other bloggers to talk to him, or even TALKING TO HIM THEMSELVES !!!!!
Why do control-PR even before Chic Happens???
as your friendly cyberhood busy body, I would be CURIOUS!!!
I personally am so scared he's going to find out I didn't brush my teeth last night!!
AND slept with my contact lenses on!! AND slept with my husband!! tsk tsk
SO I'M ADMITTING IT NOW!!
It's about time someone said something about the abuse of models by agents. Jokey DingDong is not the first and he is probably not the worst but he's bad enough.
I hope this whistleblower has a day job because it might be hard to get modelling gigs once someone from the industry (the cottage industry of spinning lies and generating abuse??) goes against an agent.
Although I wouldn't exactly put him in the Mike Ovitz/Ari Gold/Ed Limato caliber....hokay??
I think people have to realize that there are other jobs aside from showbiz, modelling, drug dealing, contact killing, etc. that will earn you a considerable amount of money.
I am secretly hoping that CC's complaint will get him somewhere or at least create a change in the modelling/agenting business.
About time SOMEONE said SOMETHING!!!
It's sad but true that we never take action for anything unless it affects us.

Friday, July 11, 2008

THE MOLE THE MERRIER!



MY MY MY...the moles are up and about today like the week has no end in sight.

I have no news simply because I am expecting a lot more news to come my way in the next week. I am SURPRISED---SHOCKED and AWED---at the number of moles digging around society this week and ruining garden parties!

Come to think of it, we have not had a quiet week since I started this blog.

I THINK the third book is going to turn out swell!! But I shouldn't speak too soon since I haven't even written my name.

The last two weeks saw me terrified that I would not be able to write anything but today, before I board my plane for London, I am PSYCHED and rarin' to go.

That's half the battle. The other half is writing the first sentence. Lots of the old characters we love to hate and some new ones we've hated all along!!

ALSO, I am looking forward to Gorrell's SOCIAL SHERIFF--A great blog name that will feature the pretenders we love to hate. (Am I writing a hate blog, by the way??)

He will be blogging in a country far, far, far away from the clutches of the pikon, sore losing social climbers, the AFP, the NBI, PC, MetroCom and the NOCD (Not our Class Darling) which includes the self-appointed blog police!

And our quote of the week goes to John-John who will receive passes to Kung Fu Pandak, Birch Tree Milk Powder and a Seiko Wallet, ang wallet na maswerte. (Joke lang....Unlike Yoyo Tan and Christina Vergel, I have no sponsors, sorry! may sponsors pa ba ang mga yan???)

This is dedicated to the SOCIAL SHERIFF:

John-john has left a new comment on your post "SEX, DRUGS AND VIDEO (GAMBLING)....": In relation to the closure of Chikatime, and why some of the so-called socialites are making a fuss about some of the posts...I remember tuloy the comment of someone I met in HK..there's a small party in RED (the bar on top of IFC), this is after HK Tatler Ball...there's this model, the date of James Bond (owner of Bond Properties in HK) and Kevin Chau (who said to me, "you're not from here, are you?")...anyway, the lady told me that - "I don't think Philippine Society really exists"...no i understand, to them we're still a 3rd world...and i understand, feeling lang ang ibang tao dito...hahahahah

O--Paano na yan, Gorrell, the Social Sheriff?? Go straight to jail (or the bathroom stall) and do not pass by the party at Embassy na lang??

Thursday, July 10, 2008

THE OLYMPIC GAMES - SWIMMING, TRIATHALON, HIGH JUMPING AND RUNNING (for your life!!)


OUR FAVOURITE SWIMMER TURNED SWINDLER IS GETTING CLOSER AND CLOSER TO THE OLYMPIC FINALS......(so he better swim faster or get a boat)
Remember when I told you a Baracuda from the China Sea was not going to rest until the Swimmer turned Swindler was confined to the baby pool with no oxygen...????
WHELLLL---fellow 100 m freestyle aficionados....The Baracuda IS circling the Swimmer and it seems like Mrs Swimmer, the Madam turned Mrs., is so worried that she has appealed to mutual friends to call off the Baracuda.
But Mr Baracuda is not alone. He already must have enlisted the counsel of Atty Great White and fellow snappers. In other words, he has gotten the ball rolling but the ball ain't in the fast swimming lane.
And like most fights about businesses gone under water...
"It's never really JUST about the money, is it...???"

Monday, July 7, 2008

SEX, DRUGS AND VIDEO (GAMBLING)....


JUST AS I THOUGHT I COULD TAKE A NAP AFTER MY LAST ENTRY.......
On a roll of a dice, I got this in my card.....
On the surface, the events at Embassy don't seem very unusual:
1) un-chic crowd that thinks they are chic...very common
2) drug use, sales and abuse - But hey, what place isn't like that??
3) temporary closure --- MAY-BEEE
4) the attempt of bribery by one of 'the owners' (read: Yoyo Tan)
BUT THEN---it seems like a 'group of concerned parents" (These parents ACTUALLY KNOW what their kids are doing???) WANT embassy to stay SHUT!!
The kids can go to Government but then for homophobe Christian parents that might be worse...
Instead of trying to close Embassy for good they should be giving seminars on child rearing.
HEINOUS-WAY---pala, yung Las Vegas may Embassy na pala sa Manila!!
As in, there is supposedly a gambling den inside the embassy---
Well, that I agree because every time I have to apply for a visa at an embassy, that's a gamble in itself!
If I play mah-jong at home, does that open me to get busted???
SIGE--bet tayo it doesn't open again.....

HAPPY NOW??



ARE THE PEOPLE BEHIND THE CLOSURE OF CHIKTIME HAPPY NOW?

If I were you, dollface, I wouldn't want to be going around admitting this.....

Based on the online information that has been sent to me, it seems like the blogosphere is mourning the loss of the website everyone loves to hate, Chikatime.com.

(I don't look for material myself because as it is I don't even know HOW to begin to look seeing as I already have a hard time looking for my glasses or my dogs...)

When SOOZY HOPPER DIED, I cried.

Now that CHIKATIME CLOSED, I am so fuckin' angry I want EVERYONE TO KNOW!!! (But I have my ways of dealing with anger----at a bookstore near you!)

Although I am very new to blogging, there are several points that irritate me about people who want to 'control' the content of cyberspace.

1) As long as there is no racism, sexism, child pornography and/or bestiality, the contents of someone's blog is really NONE OF ANYONE'S BUSINESS.

If you want to control the contents of a blog, then I suggest you take it up with people in trad-media where they can REALLY CONTROL what is published or aired. Cyberspace is the last territory (actually, a very new one like a housing development on reclaimed land) of vigilante journalism.

There is also the option of putting up YOUR OWN BLOG to fight other blogs...

But mine is simply to promote my books and "gather information"....

2) The ones who complain are usually those who want to be public figures by being famous for being famous but without any effort at all except by getting dressed and showing up. Some even get dresses for FREE!

But, sadly boys and gheys, being a public figure is like marriage where from store opening to scandal, ya gotta be there, baby. If you put yourself out at every party, you BETTER be ready when scandal comes a-calling. Better yet, if you can't stay away from scandal or bad behaviour, stay away from the cameras!

What is SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND?? You don'd have to go to UCLA Film to get it!

If you can't take the heat, why go into the kitchen in the first place? Just watch cooking shows on TV!! (I love the ocean but I have sworn off beaches so I simply watch National Geographic!)

(This is why I have abso-fuckin'-lutely no sympathy for socilialites and movie stars but have a lot of sympathy for royalty because they are literally 'born in captivity' to the public and papps)

Also worth noting, social climbers with 'information' to hide. Perhaps Chikatime hits hard because like they say in PR, "If there's smoke, there's fire!" FIRE FIRE FIRE!!!

3) Is the Philippines REALLY that big a tech-society that they know the word 'cybercrime?"

The following are excepts from a story in the Philippine Daily Inquirer.

"The cybercrime bill would contain definitions of cybercrime, punishment of such crimes and provisions on cooperation with the international community, among others.
Last year, the DoJ created a task force to deal with cybersecurity issues in legislation and investigation....The task force worked closely with the Council of Europe, a private organization, and local experts composed of IT practitioners and other stakeholders."

Okay--do you think the Council of Europe really cares about the contents of Chikatime when they had the Nigerian Gold Scam going around cyberspace for years? (I think they caught the guy last weeek)

"Among the top priorities of the group was to work for the passage of the cybercrime prevention act, which failed to pass in the previous Congress. -----Meanwhile, Sy said that two major cybercrime cases were filed by the National Bureau of Investigation this week. These cases involve Internet libel and qualified theft."

If something failed to pass in Congress, Top Priority ba 'yan?? Kung Top Priority bakit it didn't pass?? With the I Love You virus originating from the Philippines, global phishing, identity theft etc, we concern ourselves with LIBEL and QUALIFIED THEFT....OH MY GAS!!! (as Chikatime would say)

Suddenly we have made cybercrime a priority in a country with NO WI-FI and LIMITED BROADBAND???

How many times have I been on MSN messenger with someone in the Philippines and THEIR network dies??? HUH?? Or more elementary, their phone has no signal!!

(and suddenly we are HIGH TECH CSI-24 Cybercrime investigators!!)

I have a feeling the NBI has NUTTIN' to do with Chikatime's closure....

4) Why did these people CHOOSE to pick on Chikatime and no one else? The God of Cyberspace knows there are SO MANY other such sites!!

As far as I'm concerned, they have NOT BROKEN any law (see point number 1). Who could take themselves SO SERIOUSLY to have them closed down? Many of Chikatime's subjects of ridicule STILL enjoyed the blog while it was up. The best thing about Chikatime is that it had no alliance (unlike MANY people we know with TOO MANY...), no agenda and no identity (but so what??)

AND SO WHAT if they were 'in Makati lang pala or General Santos or wherever making 20,000 a month..." Clearly, this is yet another example of playground mentality (rich vs poor) because if this was put up by the head of a call center who owned a WHOLE building and who had the whole government in his pocket, this closure would not have happened, WOULD IT???

And now, kiddies, before I close, I leave you with this wonderful quote from Mr Bennet in Pride and Prejudice...(and if you are READING this blog or have READ CHIKATIME and DO NOT agree with this, you are a HYPOCRITE!!)

"For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbors, and laugh at them in our turn."

Yan lang pow.....

Later today, I will have more news unfit to print.

If I remember to post.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

A WEEK OF SCHADENFREUNDE




or in English slang, 'frenemies..."
My, my girls and gheys!! Just as I thought it was safe for me to go into the water in my Eres bikini, we find out that the waters are not only filled with algae but with bullshit!!
So I had to retreat! Retreat! Retreat back to the beach house in my Allegra Hicks cover-up while clutching my Jack Rogers sandals!
JOS KO!! With all that happened this week, I am looking forward to my working vacation next week where I will begin writing my much dreaded book three whose working title is......(as morning AM radio DJ Deo Macalma would say)....SA SUSUNOD NA!!
Believe me, I dread writing it as much as the people in the book will dread reading it!!!!
Heinous-way, didn't you kiddies think that last week was such a roller-coaster on the Pinoy-centered blogosphere that Arianna Huffington could only wish she had that much action on her blog?
Okay--let me put the movie together for Mario J. delos Reyes
Act 1: Gorrell goes on a much needed vacation
(meanwhile, his blog rages on about issues concerning Tim Yap and Jenni Epperson being rude to another Pinoy girl)
Act 2: (simultaneous so maybe we might need 2 cameras)
camera 1: Mabuhay Shoppingera comes out of the Claude Montana shoulder pad look and declares that she will expose the identities of Chikatime editors and their credit card information!!! (OH NO!!!) ---- theme from The Omen
camera 2 (this better be the one in technicolor, digital with photoshop!!) : Chikatime goes off the blogosphere and gives 'only by invitation' notice
ACT 3: PANIC IN THE DISCO!!! (Read: the blogosphere not Louie Y's clubs and certainly NOT Embassy!! )
(you can just steal footage from War of the Worlds not including the monster or Outbreak including the monkeys)
Act 4: All my media--phone, internet, wrinkled fez---are inundated with questions about Chikatime and if I could possibly intercede for them like Padre Pio does with God...
First of all, if I ain't granted a sainthood or a knighthood, I ain't lifting a finger.
(btw, direk, I have chosen Weng Weng to play me or Pee Wee Herman for international release)
Act 5: Chikatime CLOSES for REAL (but i am still secretly hoping they will sprout again like weeds or white hair)
Supposedly someone ratted to the NBI about their cybercrime of 'libel' but who knows for sure!!!
(More on my theories this week when I have more time to formulate lies or better yet, FIND OUT about the LIES!)
FINAL ACT: Mabuhay Shoppingera explains herself in her blog in response to Gorrell's blog (which is really no concern of mine because it is between them and the world, but you guys go ahead and read it). And Gorrell declares one word:
TRUCE.
MY QUESTION OF THE WEEK: Am I the last bitch standing? WHHEELL! It's not like I'm not used to it....It's just that I have to..you know....get my claws sharpened at Hortaleza. Only Padre Pio knows how long THAT will take!!
MEANWHILE in thickness (all our brains) and in stealth, something from Asia has filtered into international media .. NO, no, no... I am not talking about Kung Fu Panda!!!
While we were looking for Chikatime the way we look for the perfect jacket or a cocaine fix in Singapore....
Our very own Bryan Boy who is already a big name in cyberspace and among niche traditional publications received his beautiful BB bag --ostrich, no less---from none other than Marc 'Mangkukulam" Jacobs, THE MJ of MJ and LV!
BB may be the inspiration behind the bag and behind the ads currently being ran in a glossy near you. Just open that magazine next to you in the beauty shop, ijot!
(see photos above from his website laid out next to the current ad campaign--SAY NIYO??)
But for me, the dedicated follower of fashion--well, becasue it's my job, okay!!
The bigger story was from WWD (see clipping) where they published a very cute photo AND story of Bryan Boy and the BB bag but did not put a photo of Neiman-Marcus honcho Burt Tansky receiving some European Award. Meanwhile, the BB news brief came ahead of Diane von Furstenberg's 'nanny memo' to the CFDA about tardiness of shows at NY Fashion Week...
(this is a fault Mangkukulam Jacobs has been known for!) But this is no concern of yours kasi hindi naman kayo invited!
QUESTION #2: DA WHO is this Richard Gutierrez who took the Tim-onyo to church?
What is the difference between him and Richard Gomez aside from name and body type?
Yan lang pow....

Friday, July 4, 2008

THE LIVING DEAD




IT MUST BE THAT TIME OF THE YEAR WHEN THE DEAD COME TO LIFE...a transition period in the middle of the year, if you will....


That is, when funerals become THE social event of the season.

AND I AIN'T TALKING ABOUT THE DEMISE OF CHIKATIME...There is a time and a place for that.

Death is merely the beginning of a new life but as we all know, gossip doesn't die. It just gets re-incarnated or worse, it's everywhere like the Holy Spirit (or pollution) but the only thing spiritual about it is the spirit of fun as Chikatime believes but the NBI does not!!
(Is that true?? NNHHOO!!)
(BTW I am SO NOT that 'Kitty" who posted a comment on Gorrell's blog about this. I use kittygo. That's news to me and that's the last thing I want for Chikatime!!)

Therefore, just because someone dies that does not mean there is no gossip among the living....

As I illustrated in my second novel Chic Happens, the living continue to kill each other with gossip (or in my case, with laughter) even during wakes and funerals.


IT JUST SO HAPPENED THAT ONE OF MY DEAREST FRIENDS EXPERIENCED A MAJOR DEATH IN HER IMMEDIATE FAMILY. Let's call them the Chan family. Kasi old chekua rich sila at matagal na- nan-Chan, get it??

AND IT ALSO JUST SO HAPPENED THAT Alicia Santos Daniels experienced a major death in her immediate family. Let's call them the ASD family (at least I didn't call them LSD!)

Both girls lost their fathers and I cannot express my condolences enough.

HOWEVER since news about death travels faster than fashion bulletins, one of my magnificent moles in Missoni could not wait till the funeral (at least the bodies are already cold!) to tell me the following. AND OF COURSE< size="1">could not wait till Monday.....
So here is the Mario J delos Reyes death scene 1: At the Chan's family wake with Kung Fu Panda personal appearance (more likely Chinese and Pinoy government officials)....
Full catering from somewhere great perhaps a hotel or Via Mare or something social PLUS china, silver and 24 hours buffet and wait staff
Steven Spielberg eath Scene 2: At the ASD family wake (they had to spend for something okay, and it would be the director since the actors and catering were......well, anyway...)
first day of the wake: catering from Rastro's but using paper plates and plastic cutlery...hey--that ain't SO bad. I eat at Rastro's and I eat on paper plates...So I can't criticize, okay...
BUT REMEMBER BOYS AND GHEYS---ASD family wake has to be sosyal because as we all know, ASD is pa-sosyal....Think X-deal with the Shangri-la!!
second day of the wake: a helper from ASD federation goes to the Chan federation with Tupperware in hand (kasi walang salakot in hand) and asks for some kare-kare.....
WWHUUUTT??? akala ko sosyal sila....
Of course I can't be one to criticize because at my dad's wake we didn't serve anything but our own food products which were not exactly Dean and Deluca. On top of that, my brother who was experimenting on donut recipes made the visitors try the donuts...(I think the yummy donuts are now available at a Mini-Stop near you!)
Ang wake, ginawang focus group----that's what happens when you run a family business, everyday is show business...
Talagang 'no animal testing...' ang mga donuts....
NOW MY QUESTION FOR THE WEEKEND TO PONDER OVER MINI STOP DONUTS AND COFFEE IS:
If the ASD camp had to borrow kare-kare at a wake like a neighbor borrows a cup of sugar, could they possibly have to borrow flowers later or worse, the kabaon??
"Hay miss--Pagkatapos niyo gamitin, pwede humiram ng kabaon??" or worse, with the hearse...
"Pwede mag-pa hitch?? Hindi dumating ang car namin..."
YAN LANG POW...and I used the dog food photo because I didn't have a photo of kare kare..you know, being a vegetarian and all.... But looks the same, right??? I forgot to put sauce....Anyway, Gordon Ramsey doesn't read this.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

WHERE THE BOOKS ARE

MY DISTRIBUTOR HAS INFORMED ME THAT MY BOOKS ARE AVAILABLE AT:
National Bookstore - Rizal Avenue, Harrison, Trinoma, Quezon Avenue, North EDSA, SM Manila and MOA (where is that??)
PowerBooks -Megamall, Trinoma, Midtown, Greenbelt

HK retail fashion news --- Junya Watanabe for Comme des Garcon MEN is opening on Wyndham Street in Central. (With some effort and a girdle, I'll probably be able to squeeze into a tiny Japanese men's jacket)
Saw construction going on but being a Japanese store, one never knows.

I completely passed Loveless and Comme Guerilla by thinking they were 'under construction' and I thought the line at the Bathing Ape was for fast food....
But no one beats my husband the hotel expert:
1) walking into W Seoul then walking out right away because he thought he went into a bar by mistake
2) going up to the bouncer at St Martin's Lane hotel and asking--is this a club or a trendy hotel?
Really--some people, you can't take them anywhere!

BLOG IS BEAUTIFUL

I have been busy this week writing British English that's why I had to distance myself from my other prose of Bakya English...

THE BIG ISSUE OF DA WEEK---(aside from Tim Yap turns to God--more later)

Chikatime seems to be taking some chika-time off from cyberspace.
As if I was the gatekeeper of Chikatime, so many people emailed, texted, called, posted asking if I could get the gals and gheys to grant them entry.

Well, maybe to Government I could ----but Embassy, as you know, could be a problem.....


UNFORTUNATELY you are reading the blog of one of the out-est outsiders in the world so ChikaTime ain't givin' me an all access pass to their site anytime soon.

I may be one of the biggest (gossip) tippers but I ain't THAT worthy!! At least not worthy of an invite or password. ( Tim Yap turns to God and says, "Just say the word and I shall be healed.." I say to Chikatime, "Just say the 'password' and the whole blogosphere shall shaddap!! )

BUT ---do not worry (blood) sports fans --after all, gossip has become a blood sport!---I think Chikatime will be back in no time. Well, we hope!

I have complete confidence in rumor mongerers because like weeds, we just keep sprouting when you least expect us to in places you never want us to be in (or you don't want to be seen in--like Andok's and Max's!) ...Look at Soozy Hopper-- bless her cyber-soul, Brian Gorrell, Chikatime-and well, moi!

GOSSIP doesn't die. It just gets re-incarnated.
(This is why Im surprised the Philippines has not turned Buddhist!)

THIS IS NOT the first time they have shut down. The latest (or maybe the only) one I recall was when the Inquirer did a big story on them and maybe because they are not used to fame and infamy, they were overwhelmed...

Well, they will learn like everyone else!
(remember Gorrell did it, too...)

Fortunately or unfortunately, SOME people (like me) are born with heated silver forks in their tongues plus Edward Scissorhands fingers for typing venom.

Those who never learn, well, what can I say???---you will probably read more about them in my next novel.

WHY DID CHIKATIME CLOSE??
As a new kid on the blog, I am getting the feeling that the blogosphere is like an elementary school playground and one must ally oneself either with the biggest bully or the person who has rights over the slides and swings.

I would like to look at myself as the one with the verbal 'snides and swings."

SO WHO IS THE BULLY???
Why don't we pose the rhetoric: He who brags most, bullies most or vice versa or WHAT!???
Who wants to kick-butt with Gladiator heels? Personally, I prefer classic Roger Vivier Belle du Jours.

IS THERE SOMETHING I DON"T KNOW??
The traditional Ateneo answer would be "That depends."

1) Have you been reading other blogs aside from this one, Chikatime and/or Gorrell? If your answer is "Yes" then you are spending too much time online and not enough time at the 70 off sales!!---hahahaha!!!
2) Do you read blogs obssessed with discovering the identity of "ChickenTime?"
3) Have you been reading another blog with the word Mabuhay on it?
(It ain't Philippine Airlines, okay, coz you know technology has not been assigned a seat yet!!)

If you answered "NO" to all of the above then THERE IS SOMETHING YOU DONT KNOW!!

My theory is, that the Mabuhay Shoppingera, who by the way, wants more hits on her blog so I'm practically sending the devoted followers of fashion to HER BLOG by writing this entry...
The Mabuhay Shoppingera who wants more hits has been bullying our friends at ChikaTime by threatening to expose their identities.

MY TAKE --one, two, three--- on this is:
SO WHAT??? - take one
So what if we find out that Vanessa, Vhong and Fuschia do not remotely resemble Perez Hilton??
So what if we find out that ChikaTime all this time was our next door neighbor who wears slippers and curlers and smokes while doing the ironing or making laba and kula?
AND SO WHAT if we find out Chikatime is really the Philippine Tatler???
(well, for one, everyone will stop reading and start laughing because it will be so un-fuckin believable!! )

WILL WE LIKE THEM LESS IF WE KNOW WHO THEY ARE?? - take two
On the contrary, the social climbers will have to like them MORE (in fact, embrace them and take them to lunch!) because now they are gonna put the fez to the blog and realize that "Caloy" the waiter has all this time been an editor at Chikatime. Imagine---instead of Big Brother watching, you better behave because "Kuya Boy" is watching....Ayan ha....as the late Inday Badiday used to say "Careful..Careful.." (Then one time the janitor threw out her guest, the catfish that could drink milk...remember??)

And finally, take three: LEAVE THEM ALONE!!
This blog, like Soozy Hopper may have hurt many but it has brought IMMENSE as in IMMENSELY so much pleasure to more people. If anyone could bring that much pleasure to a greater number of people, by all means, be my guest.

If you still don't get it, here's the Mario J delos Reyes scene: We take two pigs (let's say Ruffa and Kris Aquino) We kill 2 lechons for lechon..what else?? But then a whole baranggay enjoys it and you become mayor...Isn't that worth it even if you had to kill two cute, innocent, defenseless animals?? (I am a vegetarian)


Mabuhay ang shopping....But Gossip has the 'more historical term' term--Bienvenue....or OMG!!!! I LABS EET!!!

Chikatime has a GREAT FORMULA no one comes close to:
1) a great sense of humor
2) a hilarious command of Taglish and Bading-speak
3) graphic photos
4) magnificent moles

Even people they have crossed love them, hate them or love to hate them...(cuckoo Chanel and herpes--ay Hermes ---may be part of that group because I have never seen a site single-handedly put me off wearing these labels after seeing the WRONG PEOPLE in the right labels--you should see what my H belts are used for now--to tie up a balikbayan box---hahahaha!!No!)

And to close this entry, since I am such an excellent writer in the proper sense, I will have to round up my story by connecting the thought of my first paragraph with my conclusion.

Tim Yap was seen at Victory (what Muffy and Constance call DARK Victory--I think that's the name of a horse they lost money on) CRYING---as in not crying for a clean up of the Pasig River---hindi cry me a river--cry me a Pacific Ocean perhaps hoping to ship out to sea...

There are some great people at Victory but there are even more losers who use it for social climbing and networking, much like the way people in the Philippines use wakes and funerals---evenings are the most social. Sometimes even the dead get up for drinks or go to the loo.

OKAY THAT'S IT FOR ....well, for now.