Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
LET'S PLAY POST OFFICE.
I be da postmaster and you-s bee da client. (Or da shooter)
'Do you knows dees peoples?'
In the words of Ricardo Po, 'Kilala mo ba ako?' ay este...SILA!????
WANTED BLIND OR ALIVE
DR. TENG TENG (short for a name with too long a jail term and too criminal to remember) who injured a resident surgeon at the East Avenue Medical Center kreez-muz parteey.
'Ju want him to lay a healing hand on 'ya?
THROWN OUT OF PGH
Dr. Chin-chiminey Filofax (ay Palafox pala but she ain't lookin' too foxy to me!) from the pathological department (as in lyin', falsifyn' and misdiagnosin') of opthalmology where not only can you a) be blinded by the light but also b) get a wrong prognosis from being diagnosed with a PEN LIGHT (maybe a giveway from Neozep!)
(This is why all the equipment behind her is wrapped in plastic--why use medical equipment when you have a trusty pen light?! Ay basta huwag pen knife for surgery, ha...)
PEN LIGHT!! Oh my GASUL!! I don't even use a penlight to check my dogs' ears!!
Di ba yung pen light pang Robinson's Cinema seating lang yan??
Naku ha...Do an MRI (Masterful Removal Immediately!)
I'm calling DR. HOUSE NOW!!
Is there a doctor in da house who can make a responsible decision without worrying about her place in society? What society? The SPCA?? Society for for Prevention of Cruely to Animals....(or patients?)
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
I hardly ever buy Vanity Fair because it is usually full of movie star profiles and photos, the Music Issue, the Hollywood Issue, etc..plus a lot of their material comes from the British press but written for readers of People magazine.
However, I picked up the January 2009 issue with Tina Fey on the cover because I saw there was a story on Yves Saint Laurent's art and furnishings collection and one on William F Buckley and his wife Pat.
(The Wall Street, Plaza fiasco and 'Christopher Rockefeller' stories are good reads, too!)
I wish I could live a life of love as strong, splendid and fabulous as these two well-loved and animated couples. (I know what you are thinking: Duke and Duchess of Windsor---that was just a case of a closet gay married to a gold digger who looked like a man but dressed well and died unhappy. He missed her so much he couldn't wait for her to get back from the hairdresser..WHELL! My husband also can't wait for me to get back from the hairdresser because....he wants to watch The Wire!!)
William F. Buckley and his wife Pat were powerhouses of the Republican party and close friends of Ronald and Nancy Reagan, yet another couple with a great love story. In fact, they were so right of right you couldn't go wrong with the company they kept....Pat was known to say that she wished Iraq was flattened into a parking lot. The couple enjoyed each other's company so much that when Pat died in 2007, Bill followed in less than a year.
Pierre Berge is selling (through Christie's) most of the important pieces of a collection he put together with his partner ---of what, over 40 years?--Yves Saint Laurent. It is expected to bring in $400 million, illustrating their art choices have outperformed the stock market. But that is not the point. They have always bought what they loved. Proof that it was more about love than investment: Berge is keeping the 'smelly bird', the first piece they bought together, the Yves and Moujik (Saint Laurent's dog) Warhols and the original artwork of the YSL logo. 'I decided to sell everything because the collection doesn't exist if he (Yves) does not exist....'
Monday, December 15, 2008
Like the rest of the free world, I am taking a Christmas and New Year break for a few weeks and hopefully I will be able to finish the rest of my third book which seems to not have a deadline in sight!
December is too cold for the patola vine to be patroling and whoring around unescorted so......
The patola vine is going to turn into holly or mistletoe for Christmas...('yan daw ang cost-chume niya this Christmas kasi we were busy being ourselves on Halloween....)
Unless someone with a personal, sexual or financial scandal goes under the mistletoe to get a kiss, there will be less gossip than there is fake snow at SM.
Right now, the only things going under are institutions, countries and your friendly neighborhood hedge fund.
Of course, if the people who kiss under the mistletoe are MARRIED...but not to each other, then we have a story!!! And if they cheated people that would make an even better story!
In the meantime, forget about being nice because you won't get the gift you wanted anyway.
So check your naughty list twice and email me all the info!
Heard along the patola vine: (last na ito!)
I made a TERRIBLE mistake!!! Si PaPa pala, DID NOT...take note, DID NOT spray bullets in front of RICO PunO's wife's house. Mali..mali...Talaga itong si patola vine, gagawin ko nang bonsai....
But she did do a drive by (not for hamburgers or a tuna sandwich) in front of the mother-in-law's house. (dat's da mudder of da Mrs, you feel me?)
Also, the couple who stays together and sssss--prays together are banned by certain entertainment and dining establishments, many too fabulous to mention.
Someone who witnessed/involved in (who knows!) the s-praying is going to talk. (NOT the patola vine this time) But then...."Kilala mo ba ako???" .....
Abangan....should come out in the local media unless....unless...ma-scoop ko na naman sila!
Friday, December 12, 2008
1) The original (and at that time main) reason was that in case we had to move to London, our dogs would face 6 months quarantine but if we moved them to France (like Lord Patten did with his dogs), we would be able to ditch quarantine. THEN after a few months, they could travel back and forth on pet passports.
2) In case we were insane (or rich) enough to spend most of our time in London, France would be an ideal and convenient location for a second home.
3) And finally---I KNEW IT!! ---because it is only one hour from Geneva, we would be close to a place where we can choose to die voluntarily.
(Of course, tomorrow, I'll probably get run over by a bus in Mong Kok)
Probably because we are childless, my husband and I are big supporters of 'assisted suicide' and as early as 2000, I have done some research on it. (JUST in case..alam mo naman ako..) Dignitas in Zurich is the most famous place to go to but the whole of Switzerland, the Netherlands and some states in America (Oregon and Washington) allow it.
Already there is so little in life that we can control and if we can control when and how we die, depending on our situation, it could be either a right or a privilege.
There has been a lot of controversy surrounding this topic particularly in the UK (it is technically a crime to assist suicide even outside the country) but no one has been put in jail yet. Prosecuted, yes.
-I'm telling you, it's that bloody religion called Christianity!! Meanwhile Jesus' body might be underneath a parking garage --did you see that on National Geographic???
In fact, I have brought it up at dinner parties and the table would go silent or worse, my dinner partner would turn away. Except if he was Swiss.
Now reality TV has gone a step ahead of Survivor.
Broadcast challenges British ban on assisted suicide
By Sarah Lyall
The New York TimesThursday, December 11, 2008
Almost completely incapacitated by motor neuron disease, Craig Ewert, 59, looked at an interviewer and laid out his options, as he saw them."If I go through with it, I have death," Ewert said. "If I don't go through with it, my choice is essentially to suffer and to inflict suffering on my family, and then die."
He chose the quick way. On Wednesday night, Britons could watch Ewert's death on television, in a film showing how he traveled to a clinic in Zurich in 2006 and took a fatal dose of barbiturates. Broadcast on Sky Television, the film - "Right to Die?" - is said to be the first shown on British television of the moment of death in an assisted suicide case.
It has thrown a new bomb into an already contentious debate. It is illegal in Britain to "aid, abet, counsel or procure" suicide. But while the law is clear, its application is murky. Ewert's wife, Mary, was not prosecuted, despite the fact that she broke the law by, among other things, helping him travel to the clinic.
By coincidence, Britain's director of public prosecutions announced Tuesday that he would not file charges against a couple from Worcester who, in September, took their paralyzed 23-year-old son to the same Swiss clinic, Dignitas, so that he could kill himself.
Nor, said the prosecutor, Keir Starmer, would he prosecute a family friend who helped organize the trip.
In a statement, Starmer acknowledged that while there was sufficient evidence to prosecute the parents, Mark and Julie James, it would not be "in the public interest" to do so.Their son, Daniel, was an avid rugby player who was studying construction engineering. He became paralyzed from the chest down after being injured while practicing with his team in 2007. He had tried to kill himself three times.He then convinced a succession of doctors that he wanted nothing more than to die and that he could not do it on his own. "Not a day has gone by without hoping it will be my last," he wrote to Dignitas.His parents begged him to reconsider, until the end. But when he would not change his mind, they said afterward, they resolved to support him.
About 100 Britons have committed suicide at Dignitas in the last decade, said Jo Cartwright, a spokeswoman for Dignity in Dying, a lobbying group. Those cases have often provoked police investigations in Britain but have never ended in prosecutions, she said.
Meanwhile, the authorities periodically prosecute people who have assisted in suicides in Britain. They are rarely sent to jail, Cartwright said, but face many months of distress while waiting to stand trial."The law isn't working," she said. "People are being forced to go abroad to die because they have no other options."Only a handful of places, including Switzerland, the Netherlands, and the U.S. states of Oregon and Washington, allow assisted suicide, and only according to stringent criteria.
Britain's law against it is now being tested by Debbie Purdy, who has multiple sclerosis and who is seeking assurances that if her husband travels to Dignitas to help her kill herself, he will not be prosecuted on his return. She lost the case this year but has appealed the ruling.Parliament has been reluctant to debate the issue. But Prime Minister Gordon Brown said Wednesday that he opposed legislation that would allow assisted suicide."I believe it's necessary to ensure that there's never a case in the country where a sick or elderly person feels under pressure to agree to an assisted death, or somehow feels it's the expected thing to do," he said.
Mary Ewert, Ewert's wife, said this week that she was not sorry that her husband's suicide had been broadcast."For Craig, my husband, allowing the cameras to film his last moments in Zurich was about facing the end honestly," she wrote in The Independent, a British newspaper. "He was keen to have it shown because when death is hidden and private, people don't face their fears about it."
In the film, Ewert comes across both as severely disabled and absolutely determined that he is doing the right thing. His final moments are almost unbearably poignant.L
ying on a bed at the Dignitas center, he signs a consent form with the help of his wife. In his labored voice, he says, "I love you, sweetheart, so much."
She responds, "Have a safe journey, and see you sometime."
Using his teeth, Ewert presses the button that will turn off his ventilator. He drinks a fatal mixture of barbiturates. And then, as a piece of music he has selected - Beethoven's Ninth Symphony - plays in his room and his wife gently rubs his feet, his life begins to ebb away.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Translation: OHMYGOD I’M IN HELL."
-No proper plumbing....I did not bathe at all during my entire stay there…."
"-There were so many children….So MANY DIRTY KADIRI CHILDREN…either coughing, wet with their sipon….I seriously did NOT WANT ANY OF THEM TOUCHING ME…."
"Gawd lolo, go count your money….. and hover somewhere else….."
"Good for nothing bus dropped us off at the station in Cubao so I had to walk!! "
"I'm not pregnant knocked up carrying an indigenous offspring.."
Sunday, December 7, 2008
"KC fought for what she wanted..." A photo? I have a hard time understanding this but then that's me and that's why I am merely a journalist and not the 'Angelina Jolie of Asia"--huh?--uh?--I don't think even a HK movie actress can claim THAT! Not even Karen Mok.
(Oh MY GAS! That's another kwento---I was staring at her at the gym and all I thought was "This is the MOST BADUY person I;ve ever seen in my life!!" but she was probably thinking, "...crazed fan..." SO I asked who she was since there are usually only 2 people at the gym, the staff told me, "Ah--Karen Mok..did you recognize her?" I said, "No but I wanted to know who she was because I never saw such an atrocious outfit out of the circus in my LIFE!" I swear over my new Lanvins that these people need a charity to raise money for their fashion handicaps)
I live with a snob and if my husband even got whiff (on the edge of his patrician nose) that I have such a bakya blog, he would say this, "How common!" What KC did would have been common. What I did was also common. In other words, being star-struck is common. As the mayordomo in Agatha Christie once said, "Crying is common. Going to the police is common."
He once lectured me for talking to Boris Becker (or course I didn't know who HE was--and HE talked to me FIRST!--"Don't you know that guy is embroiled in a sperm scandal??") and for staring at James Hewitt (again, I didn't know who HE was. I just thought he was cute. I find red hair very attractive--"Your mouth is open.") I also know where Dustin Hoffman and Lord Snowdon live but I know not to stare---at their garage doors--when I take the short cut to the Fulham Road and High Street Ken.
For him, common is fitted bedsheets (never mind if they are the best Italian or French), tissue case coverings, any form of lace for dining (worse of all for tissues and loo paper), monograms (unless they are required)---do we have to be reminded through our towels who lives here or that I own my shirt?.....
Now you know why my house looks like a dump.
OH YES! Which reminds me. I know I promised not to talk about India but my husband is reading a great book "Shantaram" on India (and if you care to know what I am reading -----"The Man Who Loved China" and "A Pilgrimage to Angkor") ----and I was reminded of a great idea at the wedding I attended in Delhi. They served drinks at the ceremony complete with wait staff!
I'm going to do that next time I get married (as if!) ---I will serve drinks at church. It's such a bore to wait, don't you think?
Friday, December 5, 2008
I have received positive reactions to the way KC behaved with Bill Clinton (although I personally would not have done that because as I told someone, I'd rather make siko other editors at press sales than siko to meet Clinton--that makes BOTH Clintons). Prepare yourselves because there will be a lot of digressions in this entry.
The comments said something like "KC seemed more human...she appeared down to earth, etc.." I am happy those comments were made because they made me realize how I (and probably other members of the international media) see things so differently. Jaded? Us???
a) The patola vine and I had lunch together yesterday (yes, like Price Charles, I talk to plants and even feed it cheese with honey and walnuts but it has to pay its bill) and it called to my attention how frivolous and out of touch people like me, members of the fashion world, are.
Let me explain by example:
Exhibit A: Jane Mulvagh, one of Vivienne Westwood's biographers, told me that she left the fashion world because she shocked herself with the shallowness of her conversation when she turned to her dinner companion and said, "How can you NOT own a pair of navy cotton twill chinos?"
Exhibit B: When I was writing for the Wall Street Journal, my editor asked me to gather 5 must-haves and (for me at least) one of them was an Alexander McQueen fur coat in white rabbit trimmed in gold (not real!) braid for HKD 800,000 (or USD 100,000). Let us NOT even bring Fendi, Dennis Basso or J Mendel into the picture because they will only complicate matters and figures.
Editor: I think you have printed one too many zeros.
Me: No, that's right. 800,000 HKD.
Editor: 800,000 is 100,000 USD for a COAT!?? WHY??
Me: Don't you understand? It's MCQUEEEEEN!!! It's beautiful!! Why are you asking me this?? How can you NOT know McQueeenn???
(There was another argument about a Balenciaga jacket so that's why I don't work for the AWSJ anymore! At least with the FT we never discuss money.....)
b) For some of us, we get to meet important people because of WHO WE WORK FOR. I know there are some members of the media who THINK important people will speak to them because of who they are. Big mistake unless you own the network. Therefore, meeting important people is not as important to us unlike say, for KC Concepcion (and others in the free world), who probably doesn't get to meet anyone more important than herself. Being starstruck probably also has to do with the circles, industries or communities one is exposed to.
To me, yoga is a new experience so I am trying to learn as much as I can about it. Although my teacher here in HK is some sort of yoga celebrity, I don't get to meet many. A journo like me who can talk figures and fashion with Kaiser Karl, Michael Burke and Sidney Toledano, Arnault, Diego della Valle, MINOR royalty (like the odd count with no account),CEOs, artists, politicians, senior bankers, etc...COULD NOT even bring herself to ask Sharon Gannon (co-founder of NYC's Jivamukti Yoga) what brand of make-up she uses because it stayed on so well. To think I have even interviewed the CEO of L'Oreal....
O--eto--sideline, okay? (Pay attention) When I met Amanda Harlech at the couture, I was so excited and kept asking her about her clothes and horses that....I forgot about my Kaiser Karl interview!!!
Add to that what happened early this week before I went out to lunch with John Scott (Sting's yoga teacher to you, the unenlightened--hahaha!):
Alex (my yoga teacher in HK): Do you mind if a friend joins us for lunch today?
Me: No, of course not.
Alex: It's John Scott. I'm sure you've heard of him. Think of it as a treat for you.
Me: (amidst the quiet of the Landmark Mandarin Spa) JAAHN SCAAATTT!!!???? HE'S FAAAAMOUS!!!! OH MY GAAAAWWWD!! (Of course, there was John Scott sitting next to me...)
So, girls and gheys, as much as I think making siko is uncool, I did have my KC Concepcion moment this week. Of course there was also the time I thought Whoopi Goldberg was a waiter and I thought Bryan Adams was an architect then worse, changed my opinion to a starving musician.....(HOPELESS! No wonder I can't be taken out in public---buti pa yung patola vine)
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Kids, cyberspace is not exactly the safest place for all the news not fit to print.
I do not know the rules of the blogging game when it comes to the definition of 'public figures' since social climbers start denying they are public figures once they get hit with a scandal. What I am saying is that I am not as bold as Amiel (http://www.donavictorina.blogspot.com/) and his Council of Boldstar and RainB (they are coming out on TV soon!) or Gorrell.
In fact, I am quite the coward.
Mamamaya ma-drive by shooting pa ako, ang liit liit pa bahay kubo ko....
But like I always tell friends and family, fans and foes, it's not the WHO that makes a story but the WHATs and HOWs. That has been the basis of my books and will be the basis of this blog. By no means should you feel alienated if you don't know the people I'm talking about. Who cares about them because they are precisely that---THEMs, while we are US-es.
As I have mentioned before, there are only TWO people in this world: US and THEM.
(based on KC's behaviour with Bill in HK, I would classify her for now as a "THEM"--more on that PUBLIC FIGURE later)
It was a relatively uneventul week in Hong Kong with Jackie Chan, Vivienne Westwood, Kylie, Bill Clinton, money-launderers and corrupt politicians from Third World countries but I was....
....tongue-tied at lunch with celebrity yoga teacher JOHN SCOTT (yoga teacher of Sting to you non-yogis) where we had Indian food.....My yoga teacher, a celebrity himself in yoga circles (only one of 30 authorized by our Guruji Sri Pattabi Jois to teach the ashtanga method) took me out to lunch and invited John Scott to come, too. AND NO---I am NOT intending to follow the downward-dog spiral of Wendy Hotung! (source: Oriental Daily Magazine)
....impressed with his patience (with me) let alone his talent at a Chinese dinner with JOHN PAULINE (Mr. Beijing Olympics Water Sports Ice Cube Stadium architect to you who think SM is an architectural masterpiece).
Now that we got the name-dropping out of the way (there's MORE where THAT came from!), let us get to the main event with the patola vine who was crawling all over the CGI in Wanchai and abso-fuckin'-lutely dyin' to tell all before I lock it up in the greenhouse for the weekend.
The patola had not just one but TWO KC sightings and they were the following Kodak moments. So 'picture this' geddit???
1) At one of the dinners, KC daw made siko the Secret Service standing next to Clinton so she could take a photo with him (arms outstretched) with her camera. It might look something like the photo in this entry but with Bill next to her. You feels me? You picture it in your mind?
2) At the final evening's awards ceremony, when Clinton was giving out recognitions for the event, a CEO of a MAJOR corporation was sitting down and Clinton was standing next to him. Follow so far? You's gets the picture? THEN all of a sudden KC SQQUUEEZZES (like SQQUUEEZING into Bench or whatever-she-advertises jeans) herself in between Clinton and the CEO and the rest is Kodak history. Hindi na sha ma-crop ngayon....
You READ it here FIRST! (I can BET you PEP will come out with a 'similar' story)
(Would you by chance be interested in a Mrs Robert Miller --read: Mrs Duty Free--sighting by the patola vine at the HK Flower market? Guess not. Thought so.)
That's it for this week unless you want to hear about fashion. Baka later na after I sort through the stuff I got 90% off at the press sales today!! WOOOOHOOOO!!
Also, Hermes was on sale (only)today 45% off at the HK airport.
Monday, December 1, 2008
I hate this look of jeans and t-shirt and heels or loafers and a gigantic "It" bag. It doesn't tell anyone you are particularly stylish. Just that you own 'the' bag. (It could even be a rental!)
Along with the economy, the luxury market faces a major upheaval. Yes, really. Former Morgan Stanley luxury analyst Claire Kent, who is now an industry consultant, spoke in London last week at the Luxury Briefing conference (where, we imagine, attendees examine each other's summer yachting photos on their Prada phones … through monocles). The luxury market has been booming for fifteen years, but all good things must come to an end. Sound scary? Fancy this:
[Kent] pointed to “luxury fatigue” and the growing fear of debt, and said consumers would increasingly be spending more money on fewer items. As a result, “masstige and aspirational brands will suffer the most,” she told the audience, adding that the handbag bubble is bursting now. “An ‘It’ handbag will become an embarrassment — a clear sign that you don’t have your own view of fashion,” she said.
Ho ho, Upper East Siders. If you don't feel embarrassed about your money yet, you may as well start now. And eBay your Birkin bags before the rest of the world catches on to your bank account.
Yesterday's SCMP deemed "designer sale announcements" OUT because it is 'irresponsible" to tempt us with bargains at a time when we have no money. What about those who DO have money? There is also such a thing as being selective. I don't plan on going to all the sales although the Chloe 90% off was very tempting until I saw the lines. Tod's/Hogan you had to make an appointment (jeeez). I heard there were really good buys at Valentino. Fendi I missed because I was in the Turd World so now I want to kick myself with my Fendi boots. The "press only' sample sales are the best because a) non-media are not allowed- you have to show ID, b) none of the tiny Chinese editors compete with me for shoes (39-40 is model size) and c) I don't compete with them for clothes (size 2-6) and belts. Bags are war! hahahaha!!