Sunday, November 2, 2008

(NOT) THE COLOR PURPLE


Before we discuss my encounters with poverty and the turd world (since I am about to spend this weekend in Delhi), let us discuss the wines of Burgundy or Bourgogne to the cheese-eating surrender monkeys.
I am doing this is because I don't want to hear "What do you learn from Kitty's blog?"
"Nutthin..."
So today I am giving you the the Hollywood one-page story summary or the cheat sheet for the internet generation on Burgundy. And for the fashionistas, out there, no, this is NOT one of the brownish-red shades in a Pantone guide.
On the day the Asian markets dropped by 13%, I went to a wine tasting involving 13 wines from Burgundy. God knows all the bankers in town needed a strong drink and a lesson on expensive wine since soon they will not even be able to afford Ribena.
The tables were filled with so many glasses I thought I was assigned to wash them. This would have given Ina Raymundo a heart attack---- she of the ideal date being at a restaurant na 'basta huwag sa maraming kubyertos.'
HOKAY--so here is the summary you would submit to Brad Grey at Paramount if you want him to green light your film: (I HOPE you's knows dat Burgundies comes in whites and reds)
Burgundy is a region with the following 'hoods: Chablis, Cote de Nuits, Cote de Beaunem Cote Chalonnaise, Maconnais and Beaujolais. Chablis, Maconnais and Beaujolais are the most popular with Beaujolais having the reputation of cheapness.
It is cheap because it is Burgundy merely 'by location' which is like buying property with a "Beverly Hills Post Office' address or saying you live in Makati when it is really JP Rizal or saying you live on the Peak when you really live inside one of the WW2 bunkers together with illegal Chinese immigrants.
There are over 10,000 wine producers who grow and blend grapes and bottle wines out of chardonnay and pinot noir.
There are three classifications of vineyards: Grand Cru with 32 names which make up 1% of production (this is why you have to take out a mortgage to have a sip); Premiere Cru with 476 names making up 10-11% (buy this if you want to impress but not be cheap) and Village which accounts for 90% (Girls, you know your date is saving money if he orders this).
Knowing your wines to impress your friends and the chicks:
1) 2006 is a good year for whites. Puligny-Montrachet and Pouilly-Fuisse (being villages or'corners' if you had to 'splain this to Marlo and Omar) are popular with Americans but the Chassagne-Montrachet is great value and less popular with the peeps. The Uniqlo of the white wine world, if you will.
Of course you can always order a Chablis which goes with most Asian foods. (But personally, I think whiskey is better)
2) A moderately priced 'village' red would be 2002 Gevrey-Chambertin, Champerrier, 1er Domaine Tortochot, Cote de Nuits (more on DOMAINES later) would be 'manly' enough to impress a bird especially when you say that 2002 was one of the top 3 vintages in the last 15 years so you ain't so cheap and ignorant after all.
3) If you want to prove your manliness in choice and wallet at Morton's Steakhouse, order 2002 Vosne-Romanee, 1er Cru, Beaux Monts, Dme Bertagna, Cote de Beaune. At over 100 USD, the bird should at least give you head.
Another choice would be the 2002 Nuits St. Georges, les Cailles, 1er Cru, Patrice Rion, Cote de Nuits which would easily set you back over 150 USD but think of it as the reliable, wear with anything Maximillian fur that is elegant but not quite Fendi or Revillon.
A word about Domaines. Like Isaac couture and Isaac for Target, vineyards also do hi-low wine.
In other words, it ain't the same without a domaine. Well, sort of.
And that's it, in a grape seed, kids.
But I have a better plan for the guys. Instead of trying to learn all this, take a new date to a wine tasting. That way, you can a) impress her with your sophisticated idea of a date and b) take advantage of her later when she's drunk.

6 comments:

Twilight Zone said...

now im drunk, lol.

Rosanna said...

Mama Kitty,

Nahilo ako sa blog mo. Nakakaloka! Sobrang Sosyalan with the capital S. Taray ng Lola ko! HaHaha! Thanks for educating us with crus and the villages. This is a good read esp. if I'm with foreigner friends. Now I can hold a candle when we talk about French wines. May K na ang ateh.

I'm sure your detractors in Manille are having nosebleed right now trying to figure out how to deduce this article. Its way beyond their league coz their exposure to wines is Francia and the Chilean wines. Bwahahah! I remember si Alicia Santos when Shiraz was the hit in the early 90s, talagang may i write ang lola mo sa article nya at talagang proud siya na she drinks Shiraz sa may "in bar" noon in the Makati Avenue/Burgos Area. Talagang heaven daw ang Shiraz sa kanya! Taray ng lola! hahahaha. Sosyal!

At mama, miss mo na ba chikatime? How can I buy the domain ba? I wanna buy it and open it again. Im thinking of developing Chikatime and spawn it into a daily Tabloid then the website will complement the tabloid. I made some calculations and I reckon it will not cost more than 10 million to run a decent metro wide daily tabloid. Any suggestions manay?

I want Chikatime to be the Daily Enquirer meets Globe/Sun Manille edition. Trash kung trash ang usapan. At talagang ilalabas ko ang mga baho ng mga may baho. Bwahahaha! After all negative publicity is still publicity!

Baboo for now manay!

Novelista said...

"If you want to prove your manliness in choice and wallet at Morton's Steakhouse, order 2002 Vosne-Romanee, 1er Cru, Beaux Monts, Dme Bertagna, Cote de Beaune. At over 100 USD, the bird should at least give you head."

In grad school, some girls told me that when a guy pays over $100, that is a "downpayment on a**." So your assessment is super accurate!

Oriellini said...

I can't even read those names properly!!!MY FRENCH lesson in Berlitz don't help either!!!the latter part is funny...goodday!!!

sankyu said...

Hello mama kitty nag karon ka na ng ampon ngayon haha (joking) sabi ng mga hapon dito depende daw sa place yun totoo nga ba??

sankyu said...

Hello Novelista..ganun ba sa tokyo ata mas mahal ang downpayment lolz ...........pero favorite ko pa rin yung los vascos from chile ok cya and masarap